must stop taking long naps. gotta go 2 school tomorrow. haveto. gotta do good things for myself. gotta clean the gallery. gotta paint. gotta eat. gotta stay clean. gotta
i painted my nails and started wearing my make up different and i went tanning a few times and i think im pretty but not really but dont tell me that i think that
see this is really weird though because i AM happy i am in a good mood but i’m thinking very negative thoughts.. like i love my bf to death but sometimes i look forward to us breaking up so i can cut and starve which is WEIRD i should be grateful to have a reason not to do these things i just really miss being “”crazy”” and i miss cutting and i miss the hospital and i miss puking all the time but i know being with him is for the better because i’m safer…. see im thinking about all this but im still in a good mood? i dont understand. my guidance counselor wants to send me to rehab or a mental place again. i dont want to. i dont want to. please dont make me go. i do want to, actually, maybe. but he wont like a crazy girl
i am happy. i just got home, and i am smiling. i don’t know why. nothing happened. im just smiling. i looked at myself in the mirror. i look like a nice girl. when i’m genuinely smiling, my the gap in my teeth doesnt matter, because i look happy. i am not anxious. i do not mind the clutter in my room. im not worried about going to school tomorrow. i’m not scared of the deadline i have to reach tomorrow. i am living, i am breathing, i am smiling, and i am doing just fine.
does anyone wanna add me on snapchat pls hmu